Crayon Eaters, The Dude, and What's Wrong With American Politics
After I graduated from college, I spent the first seven years of my professional career teaching school. If you think back to your own school days, you probably remember there was always one kid sitting in the back, not quite with the program, off on a secluded mental island where white sands and a steady sea breeze allowed him to float downwind from the cacophony of classroom chatter, unrestrained flatulence and the general din of anything I might be trying to teach. His unique approach also made it acceptable to eat a crayon from time to time, usually the red ones. ("Ah," you say, "yeah, I remember that kid…”)
As I stood in the front of the classroom, I used to try to imagine what the kid with the crayon stained teeth might be thinking about. I’m reminded of how 21st century sage Jeffrey Lebowski, a.k.a. The Dude, once described his own ruminations. “You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you's. And, uh, lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head.”
This, of course, brings me to politics.
According to a recent New York Times article, Yale professor Dan Kahan and his colleagues have found that people with more hierarchical, individualistic worldviews (generally conservatives) see the government as an impediment to commerce. Those with a more egalitarian, community-oriented mindset (generally liberals) are likely to be suspicious of industry. In other words, most of us are so predisposed towards our own bias it makes objectivity a ghost ship, a mirage in the distance.
If you’re like me, you used to think of the independent voters out there as the last bastion of objectivity, those few brave souls who refuse to be swayed by all the mudslinging. (If you’re a conservative, that mud comes from deep inside Kenya, where it’s hand-mixed by socialists and contains a hint of colonialism. If you’re a liberal, it’s engineered by evil corporations and laced with the tears of starving orphans and Sarah McLachlan puppies.)
Then I realized that the independents were the ones sitting in the back of my classroom, head in the clouds, the whiff of crayon wax on their breath. Ask yourself: are the independents the few among us with true wisdom, the keepers of the flames of objectivity and truth? Or are they, as I suspect, the strand-filled daydreamers who simply haven’t been paying attention?
My advice: hide your red crayons because it’s the independents who will be choosing our next president.
As I stood in the front of the classroom, I used to try to imagine what the kid with the crayon stained teeth might be thinking about. I’m reminded of how 21st century sage Jeffrey Lebowski, a.k.a. The Dude, once described his own ruminations. “You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you's. And, uh, lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head.”
This, of course, brings me to politics.
According to a recent New York Times article, Yale professor Dan Kahan and his colleagues have found that people with more hierarchical, individualistic worldviews (generally conservatives) see the government as an impediment to commerce. Those with a more egalitarian, community-oriented mindset (generally liberals) are likely to be suspicious of industry. In other words, most of us are so predisposed towards our own bias it makes objectivity a ghost ship, a mirage in the distance.
If you’re like me, you used to think of the independent voters out there as the last bastion of objectivity, those few brave souls who refuse to be swayed by all the mudslinging. (If you’re a conservative, that mud comes from deep inside Kenya, where it’s hand-mixed by socialists and contains a hint of colonialism. If you’re a liberal, it’s engineered by evil corporations and laced with the tears of starving orphans and Sarah McLachlan puppies.)
Then I realized that the independents were the ones sitting in the back of my classroom, head in the clouds, the whiff of crayon wax on their breath. Ask yourself: are the independents the few among us with true wisdom, the keepers of the flames of objectivity and truth? Or are they, as I suspect, the strand-filled daydreamers who simply haven’t been paying attention?
My advice: hide your red crayons because it’s the independents who will be choosing our next president.
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