Defragging Your Brain's Hard Drive, a Handy Guide

Stanford neuroscientists have determined that 72 hours after someone delivers information verbally, we tend to remember only about 10% of what we've heard. That’s right: we forget 90% of what people tell us. This explains a lot. Our working memory dumps out faster than a guy on an all-prune diet. (Prunes are basically mummified plums––brutal way for a fruit to age)

Teenagers and the elderly have been taking a bad rap for years. It turns out those of us who are neither teens nor elderly have bragging rights when it comes to  short-term memory.  What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah: why are our collective memories so drastically inadequate? It’s a design problem. Our brains were built to operate in a world that existed somewhere around 40,000 years ago. Life on the savanna was different back then. A good tree to scurry up, a slow moving caribou,  a poisonous frog to tip your arrow with, and you were set. Pretty basic stuff.

So what’s the answer to surviving in today's largely caribou-free environment? We can’t sit around waiting for evolution to catch up; that business moves at the pace of a judicial hearing on healthcare. There is no escaping the fact that we continue to be saddled with a short-term retention level of about seven items, give or take. Don’t expect an upgrade any time soon.

People often liken the brain to a computer. If defragging is the solution for improving memory storage on your hard drive, can we borrow from this idea?

Research shows there are four ways to defrag your gray matter:

1.  Get eight hours of sleep each night. During slumber, your brain’s prefrontal cortex quiets down, and your memory consolidates. In fact, your brain is more active during sleep than during the day.  How important is it? Sleep deprivation experiments show that getting five hours of sleep for five nights in a row is the equivalent to driving drunk.

2.  Meditate for twenty minutes a day. Meditation creates an overall increase in both cognitive memory function and general contentment.

3.  Take a nap after lunch. NASA astronauts who took a 28-minute nap displayed a 34% increase in their memories.

4.  Watch a pay-per-view cage match between Sonnen, a.k.a 'The Foreman', and Silva, a.k.a 'The Brazilian Beast'.  The violence you witness will kick your memory in the ass. (Kidding; just trying to gauge if you’ve already nodded off.)

4.  Lastly, exercise at an aerobic level five days a week for 30 minutes a day. Stanford scientists have discovered that this level of exercise grows additional neurons in your dentate gyrus (located in the old hippocampus), which is where memory consolidates. Interestingly, this is the only method we currently have of growing more memory neurons.  The aforementioned level of exercise also reduces your chances of getting Alzheimer disease by 65%.

(Sadly, playing Sudoku, crosswords etc. does nothing for memory, but it does make you a total badass at nerd conventions and family gatherings.)

Alexander Solzhenitsyn said, “Own only what you can carry with you; know language, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag.”

Sound advice, because 
I’ve forgotten my travel bag on a Delta MD 90 twice already this year.

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